Friday, April 6, 2012

Hell Week

Do you ever have one of those weeks where the thought of it will send you crawling under the covers, shaking and crying? That's my next week.

We find out Saturday night (at midnight) if Marc will be flying to Los Angeles to cover a company strike for anywhere from 1 day to 2 months. It might not happen. They might work without a contract and wait until August. It's a complete unknown and I can't think about that until it happens.

Meanwhile, I've decided I want to host Easter because they are my kids and I want to stay home. And now, the grandparents might not come and the husbands might not be here. Is this a "What if..." worry?

Now for my week. Luckily I work from home on Friday and Saturdays and I work for my friend just up the hill an hour or two a day so I can get the laundry, groceries and time at the gym done. Including any school PTA events that I need to get completed this week.

I'll need to make copies of a flier for our school gear sale and then get the school dance fliers ready, copies and sent out. I need to finish up our school's reading plan and start the planning for the canned food drive that starts in 2 weeks as well as the (I just remembered) Pennies for Patients drive that we will do at school. I'm overwhelmed just thinking about this part.

Now to throw in the clincher. I've scheduled all 4 of my kids to play Spring Sports (I didn't know the husband might be done). 

So this week we have:
Monday - soccer game at 4:45 for Miss R that I'm coaching (no one else would step up)
Tuesday - soccer game at 6:45 for Miss M, baseball game for Mr C at 7:30. Now they both have to be to their games early and I'm scorekeeper for Mr C's team. His game will go until 10pm. What the hell am I to do with a 6 and 7 year old until 10pm while keeping them quiet so I can pay attention to the game.
Wednesday - soccer practice at 6pm for Miss R.
Thursday - soccer game at 4:45 for Miss M, PTSA meeting (My last year as President) at 7pm and a baseball game for Mr C at 6:45. So, I'm skipping PTSA (that's why I have a vice president) and I'll get a sitter for the other 3 so that they are not out until 10pm again.
Friday - work most of the day from home and then batting practice at 6.
Saturday - baseball game at 11:30 for Mr C, soccer practice at 1 for Mr N and indoor soccer game at 3:40 for Miss M.

Then it's time for some heavy drinking. I know I did this to myself and I am very careful to not let my kids see my stress over getting everywhere and doing everything for the week. I can only hope that Marc doesn't have to leave on strike and count on the kindness of my kids teammates parents to help. I'll have to be leaning on the baseball coaches wife to help with score keeping because I can not split myself in two and be everywhere.

My stomach hurts thinking about this schedule and getting through this week. If Marc is gone, everything repeats with some variations for the next 8 weeks. I have plenty of down time to recover during the day, but I can't drink then to forget the hell of a position I've volunteered myself into.

Does anyone else volunteer too much? I know I should say no, but I couldn't have my daughter not have a soccer coach. And I didn't realize baseball was so insane. I will survive.

Nothing Nice To Say

Ugh!! If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it. I've been holding my tongue for so long that I'm at a bursting point. I don't want to cause conflict and I've bent over for so many years that change seems impossible. I've finally made a small change and of course it's pouting time. Why? Why don't you plan ahead. Because I have 4 kids, 2 jobs and a life. I don't plan ahead for anything. Only what is directly in front of me. It may seem chaotic to others, but it works for me.

I've had 2 huge PTA projects at school come together beautifully this year by my way of last minute work. I have had parents come up to me and say they thought it wouldn't get done (and it drove them a little nuts), but in the end it was accomplished and the event was successful. That's because I ROCK!!

Now I'm dealing with holidays. I am understanding why my parents moved 4 hours away from their parents. I love grandparents. I love that they want to be part of my kids lives. But it's my turn. Why do I have to give up every holiday to do what they want? Why do we have to always go to their house? Does my house and manners suck that bad? I like to think of ways to make the holidays fun, but I'm always watching the clock because we have to be somewhere by a certain time so that they can celebrate and make memories somewhere else. My kids will have had a wonderful childhood because so many people love them, but I will have tainted memories of always having to go somewhere and holding my tongue. 

I would love to spend a holiday with all of my family. My family and my husbands family at my house. We make a last minute decision (because that's how I roll) to host Easter at our house so that I can see my brother and his 3 boys and I'm told that grandma "might" make it over. What the hell. Suck it up and enjoy your grandchildren in any capacity. My week next week is absolute hell and I don't want to be gone all day Sunday. 

My happy pills aren't working this week. Tears are near and I'm afraid I'll probably say something that will never be forgiven. Because that's how they roll.

Hmm. Now I have the stress that this will be read, taken out of context and blow up in my face. But I DON'T CARE. I need to be with my kids in the way I want to be with them. My oldest is turning 12 and will be out of the house (fingers crossed) in 6 more years. Then she will go on to make a family and memories with her kids and I will be going to her house and visiting with those beautiful angels. With 4 kids, this will be interesting for me to get to everyone.

OK. I'm better. Thanks for reading (listening). That's what all you wonderful and unknown friends are for.